I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
