Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
