Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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