Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
