I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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