her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
