I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
