sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
