I have demons in me.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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