God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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