but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
did you just send me my own nude
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
