WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
