i think i have herpe
just one?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
