Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
