I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
