He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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