When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
