i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
