If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I enjoy the company of your penis
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
