By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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