You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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