I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
