Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
