She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize