none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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