Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
