"it" just moved
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
