i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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