Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
