i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You can't special order awesome
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
