i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
