I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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