I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
