I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i dont even know how to be here
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
