Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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