You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
