planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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