all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
