They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Quick, to the slutcave!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
