sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
