I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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