you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
