Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
