Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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