last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
