Me. At least after what I've been through.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
