is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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