You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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