cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
