Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
